A LAGOS BIG GIRL BROKE MY HEART!

 I have suffered in the hands of rich girls in this Lagos! The other night, my wealthy business coach, a pretty girl from the other side of town, takes me in her fully air-conditioned new car and begins to talk to me about sweet sex at 8 o'clock in the night.

She drives me all over Lekki Phase 1, where rich Nigerians live in gated houses with dogs, housemaids, security guards and a fleet of latest cars. We see a magnificent house with a gate as tall as tall can be and a lovely roof as beautiful as beauty can be.

We look at the house again, it looks just like the ones used by drug barons of then or slave traders in the 19 century America. She parks right beside of the house and begins to tell me about sex and money.

"Simon," she begins, "anything a man tells me in this house, I will understand." "You see," she continues, "when you're with a man in such a house and he tells you, baby I need you tonight, you just flow with his words and even help him complete his sentences. You tell him yes baby! Yes sweetheart! Yes honey!".

"But in your Ketu where you live now," she continues, "with the generator noise and the heat all over, you will be saying to him 'Are you not done? Please do fast! I am tired do fast! The heat will kill me o!" I was listening to her, laughing at myself to still be in Ketu. I tried to shift topic and asked her: "What if the man in this house doesn't love you? What if it's hell on earth? With plenty money and no peace nor love?" "What if he's cheating on you?," I added.

She smiled and told me, calmly. "Simon, I have been broke before. I have been on a motorcycle and the rider, a married man, was trying to woo me. I have also been in an old cab and the driver was trying to get me. He was also married. I have been asked out by poor and married men. So poor men also cheat on their wives. I will rather want a rich man who gives me all the comfort to cheat on me than a broke guy who gives me nothing to push me even further down and break my heart after killing my body and beauty with misery!"

Needles to say I was flabbergasted. I was discombobulated. And I was so pained and so happy to have understood love and sex from women perspective! I was motivated that very night to go from Ketu to Lekki! The next morning, however, when I woke up, I was still in Ketu where I am typing this surrounded by generator noise and smoke! Yes, I have suffered in this life!                    

Source:SimeonAteba